Stoicism

I have a saying, or perhaps a mantra, that I like to repeat to myself: “High hopes, low expectations”. I think I could do a whole stand up comedy routine about this subject. Some people, I suspect, go through life feeling disappointed for the simple reason that they expect too much. Whether in their relationships, careers, or personal lives, they set themselves up for constant disappointment by setting their expectations far too high.

To be present is to live in the moment, to be aware of the here and now. It is a state of mind that allows us to fully experience life as it unfolds without being distracted by thoughts of the past or future. Being present is crucial to many spiritual and philosophical traditions, including Buddhism, mindfulness meditation, and Stoicism. It’s also an essential concept in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which teaches us to focus on the present moment rather than getting caught up in negative thoughts or emotions.

Much of modern psychology is borderline wishy-washy pet theories wrapped up in scientific jargon. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), on the other hand, is a practical, evidence-based approach to changing your thoughts and behaviors. And it’s been around for thousands of years. We can thank Freud for doing two things: bringing the idea of talk therapy into the mainstream and making it seem like a mystical, magical process. Freud practiced pseudoscience, and unfortunately, his ideas still permeate our culture today. Thankfully, we have (in some circles at least) replaced his style of magical thinking with more evidence-based approaches like CBT.

One of my many unpopular opinions is that therapy is mostly a waste of money. To be clear, I’m referring to the kind of therapy where you pay someone for 45 minutes to an hour of their time to sit there, listen to your problems, and perhaps give you some kind of feedback or suggestions (or maybe they’ll just give you CBT book recommendations after they’ve extracted enough revenue from you).