Philosophy

I have a saying, or perhaps a mantra, that I like to repeat to myself: “High hopes, low expectations”. I think I could do a whole stand up comedy routine about this subject. Some people, I suspect, go through life feeling disappointed for the simple reason that they expect too much. Whether in their relationships, careers, or personal lives, they set themselves up for constant disappointment by setting their expectations far too high.

To be present is to live in the moment, to be aware of the here and now. It is a state of mind that allows us to fully experience life as it unfolds without being distracted by thoughts of the past or future. Being present is crucial to many spiritual and philosophical traditions, including Buddhism, mindfulness meditation, and Stoicism. It’s also an essential concept in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which teaches us to focus on the present moment rather than getting caught up in negative thoughts or emotions.

Much of modern psychology is borderline wishy-washy pet theories wrapped up in scientific jargon. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), on the other hand, is a practical, evidence-based approach to changing your thoughts and behaviors. And it’s been around for thousands of years.

We can thank Freud for doing two things: bringing the idea of talk therapy into the mainstream and making it seem like a mystical, magical process. Freud practiced pseudoscience, and unfortunately, his ideas still permeate our culture today. Thankfully, we have (in some circles at least) replaced his style of magical thinking with more evidence-based approaches like CBT.

We humans are complex animals, and our brains developed over hundreds of thousands of years to survive on a rugged unforgiving planet. We invented technologies that became luxuries, and for many (in the West, at least) we live relatively easy lives, by historical standards. It wasn’t until the late 1800s in the US that indoor plumbing was commonplace, which is surprisingly recent.

Speaking broadly, there are two ways to think about life: passively or actively. Passive philosophy amounts to letting things happen, whereas active is about making things happen.

I generally try to stay active. If I want something to happen, I need to make it happen. Sitting around waiting for something to happen or for someone to come along and tell you what to do is passive.

Young people are often fed some variation of the belief that hard work will be rewarded; therefore, it’s good and virtuous to work hard. While I do agree with this sentiment, I think the same is also true of laziness. Unlike hard work, laziness is generally regarded as a negative attribute for any person, but this is just a misunderstanding about what laziness is.

We live in a society, or so they say. And as members of society–a community of interdependent people–we should probably strive to contribute positively. Society (and community) can provide tremendous value when it works.

It’s easy to contribute negatively, or rather, to detract. Simple examples of detracting from society might be:

I’ve never liked the word “invention”; instead, I prefer the term discovery. Nobody has ever invented anything–rather, sometimes we come upon discoveries, and some people are lucky enough to figure out how to get money from them.

Whenever I think I’m clever and have somehow come upon a new idea, I have to take a step back and remind myself that nearly everything has already been tried or thought of at some point.

Lies are easy. It’s easy to pretend your problems are someone else’s fault. It’s easy to pretend when things don’t go your way, that it’s the other party’s fault. We tell ourselves many lies to get through the day. Being honest is very challenging, and it’s especially hard to be honest with ourselves.

It’s easy to preach, but it’s hard to be congruent with whatever philosophies you espouse. Certainly there are plenty of people who do as they say they do, but I suspect the majority of those who (like myself) write blog posts on self-help themes don’t practice much of what they preach.