Perfectionism

Every January gym attendance spikes by nearly 150%, yet by mid-February about 90% of those new faces have vanished.1 We crave transformation, but sticking around for the unglamorous middle is where real change happens. Showing up regularly with “good enough” effort often outperforms sporadic bursts of perfectionism. I admire people who are consistent, dependable, and reliable. And I think you’ll find, if you can simply show up consistently, you’re more likely to achieve mastery slowly than someone who tries something a few times, gets frustrated, and gives up.2 But mastery isn’t always the goal, and that’s perfectly fine. Sometimes, being just okay at something and enjoying the process is rewarding in itself.

Although I have written about this idea before, I feel like it’s one worth elaborating on. We live in an age of instant gratification, which I think leaves us often feeling underwhelmed. In most cases, this disappointment is due to our expectations being too high. There is, of course, a simple solution to this problem: lower your expectations. On the surface you might think “but why should I lower my standards?”, and I’ll try to make the case for why you should.

There’s a subreddit called r/amiugly where people post pictures of themselves and ask the community to rate their appearance. It’s a place where people seek validation, reassurance that they are beautiful, or at least not ugly. After spending time on this subreddit, I’ve noticed something striking: most people posting aren’t ugly at all. They’re generally normal-looking individuals who skew young and presumably struggle with low self-esteem. It’s a fascinating window into the minds of people who are deeply insecure about their appearance despite—in most cases—having nothing to worry about.

“High hopes, low expectations” has become something of a personal mantra for me. I could probably build an entire comedy routine around this concept. Many people navigate through life perpetually disappointed for one simple reason: their expectations tower far above reality. Whether in relationships, careers, or personal endeavors, they set themselves up for endless disappointment by expecting perfection in an imperfect world.