Confidence

There’s a subreddit called r/amiugly where people post pictures of themselves and ask the community to rate their appearance. It’s a place where people seek validation, reassurance that they are beautiful, or at least not ugly. After spending time on this subreddit, I’ve noticed something striking: most people posting aren’t ugly at all. They’re generally normal-looking individuals who skew young and presumably struggle with low self-esteem. It’s a fascinating window into the minds of people who are deeply insecure about their appearance despite—in most cases—having nothing to worry about.

“I don’t know.” Three words that, when spoken genuinely, reveal more wisdom than a thousand confident declarations. Yet they’re among the hardest words for many of us to say. There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Few have mastered the art of walking it, and fewer still have the wisdom to know when to step back. People with enough self awareness to recognize their fallibility are–in my experience–a rare breed.

Okay, the title is clickbait, and I am ashamed of that. So, I’ll give you the bottom line up front: the Dunning-Kruger effect is (in my experience) spot-on, and even though it’s a bit of a pop psychology trope these days, I’ve encountered this effect countless times. There’s a fascinating interplay between Dunning-Kruger and imposter syndrome where these two psychological phenomena can work together in surprisingly complex ways.