Cognitive-Behavioral-Therapy

I was recently banned from Rover, a specialized craigslist website for finding pet sitters and dog walkers. They didn’t specify why exactly, though I know the walker claimed my dog bit her. I find this claim suspicious since my dogs have never bitten anyone before, certainly not hard enough to break skin, and her story contained several inconsistencies.

Rejection delivers a particular kind of sting that transcends context and circumstance. Whether or not it becomes easier to handle with age and experience remains an open question—the anticipation of rejection rarely prepares us for its emotional impact when it actually occurs. I’ve developed a certain expertise in rejection through abundant experience. I’ve been rejected by educational institutions, potential employers, friends, family members, and romantic partners. I’ve faced rejection from people I’ve deeply admired and respected, people I’ve loved and trusted, and even complete strangers.

Being present means consciously inhabiting the current moment—experiencing life as it unfolds without the constant intrusion of past regrets or future anxieties. This state of attentional presence forms a cornerstone of numerous spiritual and philosophical traditions, from Buddhism and mindfulness practice to Stoicism. It’s also foundational to evidence-based therapeutic approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which teaches patients to anchor awareness in the present rather than spiraling into maladaptive thought patterns.

While many modern psychological approaches have come and gone, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) stands out as a practical, evidence-based method for changing harmful thought patterns and behaviors. What’s fascinating is that its core principles were developed thousands of years ago by the Stoics. CBT is among the most well-researched and effective forms of therapy available today, with countless studies demonstrating its efficacy for treating depression, anxiety, and other conditions1. Yet long before modern psychology existed, Stoic philosophers like Epictetus, Seneca, and Marcus Aurelius were advocating remarkably similar techniques.

The most challenging relationships I’ve experienced, both personal and professional, have involved highly neurotic individuals. By neuroticism, I mean a tendency toward emotional instability—characterized by inconsistency, excessive anxiety, disproportionate reactions to minor issues, and sometimes aggressive responses to everyday stressors. Understanding Neuroticism # Neuroticism exists on a spectrum. A moderate level of concern about potential problems can be productive—it helps us prepare and plan. But when these feelings become overwhelming or trigger reactions that damage relationships, they cross into problematic territory.

I’ve been thinking about the relationship between friendship and therapy in our modern world. It’s become increasingly common to suggest therapy as the default solution for nearly every emotional challenge—as if paying a professional to listen will magically transform our circumstances or instantly resolve our deepest struggles. To be clear: therapy can be valuable and even essential for many people, particularly those dealing with clinical conditions or processing trauma. But I wonder if we’ve overlooked something fundamental in our rush to professionalize emotional support—the irreplaceable value of genuine friendship.