Authenticity

Sometimes we do things because we want to, sometimes we do things because we must. For example, you may need to do a task at work that you don’t particularly enjoy, but you do it because it’s part of your job. Or perhaps you listen to a song you enjoy because you enjoy the song. Simple enough, right?

There’s a subreddit called r/amiugly (as in, “Am I Ugly?”) where people post pictures of themselves and ask the community to rate their appearance. It’s a place where people seek validation, to be told that they are beautiful, or at least not ugly. It’s a place where people seek reassurance, to be told that they are not alone in their insecurities.

There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Few have mastered the art of walking it, and fewer still have the wisdom to know when to step back. People with enough self awareness to recognize their infallibility are–in my experience–a rare breed. I think a lot of the self-help advice about how we should love ourselves and be confident and yadda yadda tends to be correct on the surface, but in practice it gets deployed incorrectly. Confidence is great, but ignorance combined with too much confidence leads to arrogance.

At some point in recent history it became very trendy to travel. I think, however, most of the traveling people do this days is of the performative nature. The point of travel to most people is to take photos for Instagram and be able to boast to their friends about it, so far as I can tell. I suppose there are some folks who enjoy the thrill of airports, airplanes, and hotels. For me however, spending unnecessary time in an airport, airplane, or hotel is the last thing I want to do.

Rejection always stings, and it may or may not get easier to handle over time as you age and experience more rejections. Why it stings is complicated because sometimes we anticipate rejection, but when it hits, it still feels bad. I think of myself as an expert in rejection. I’ve been rejected by colleges, jobs, friends, family, and romantic partners. I’ve been rejected by people I’ve admired and respected, people I’ve loved and trusted, and even people I’ve never met.

When someone asks me, “s’whattaya do?”, I have a difficult time providing a straight answer. These days, I suppose any of these would be acceptable answers: Software Artisan Philosopher Amateur Blogger Author Investor Entrepreneur Human With Two Dogs Computer Person Techie Nerd Former Lyft Driver Autodidact Potato Farmer Okay, okay, I will stop there. I could go on, but I’ll spare you.

Most people go through life within a reality distortion field, shaped by the cultural norms and expectations about what is right or good in the world, and the point where those expectations intersect with reality. While everyone likes to pretend they’re authentic, most people spend most of their lives lying to themselves, largely because society forces us to. Look no further than the website “LinkedIn”, which is where everyone turns their respective bullshit reality distortion fields up to 100 to signal their suitability to potential recruiters in the event an opportunity to level up comes along.