Kill Your Ego

When I think about my biggest mistakes, they all seem to share one theme: I let my ego get the best of me. Staying humble is easier said than done, and it’s hard to appreciate how good things are until they’re gone.

There’s a fine line between keeping your ego in check and sacrificing so much self-respect that you become a doormat. In most cases, you don’t realize you’ve crossed that line until it’s too late.

Your ego can interfere with your best interests in many ways. Sometimes it’s as simple as how you treat people in everyday interactions. Other times it’s how you manage criticism or handle situations when things don’t go your way. You may even confuse ambition with ego in one instance and confidence with ego in another.

Wisdom is knowing when to stand firm and when to let go. Unless you’re in physical danger, it’s usually better to let go. It’s more important to be happy than to be proven right, and it’s better to be at peace than in conflict. Being “right” has little value if it makes you miserable.

From my experience, it’s safer to err on the side of humility rather than arrogance. It’s also a lot easier to practice humility than arrogance—it’s simpler to be kind than cruel, and easier to be patient than impatient.

Anxiety feeds the ego, or perhaps ego feeds anxiety. Recognizing anxious thoughts in the moment is challenging, but awareness is the first step to seeing they aren’t serving your best interests. Becoming aware of negative thought patterns allows you to pause and reframe your thinking. That’s why it’s wise to “sleep on it” before making any major decision. A good night’s rest can clarify your perspective as your brain processes and weighs your options.

Similarly, avoid making important choices when you’re angry, upset, hungry, tired, anxious, or otherwise off-balance. Your ego is more likely to take over when you’re in a negative state of mind—and your ego is not your friend.

My biggest regrets in life all stem from moments when I allowed my ego to prevail, usually while I was anxious, angry, or upset. When you’re not in a healthy frame of mind, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters and make choices you’ll later regret.