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When I think about my biggest mistakes, they all seem to share one theme: I let my ego get the best of me. Staying humble is easier said than done, and it’s hard to appreciate how good things are until they’re gone. There’s a fine line between keeping your ego in check and sacrificing so much self-respect that you become a doormat. In most cases, you don’t realize you’ve crossed that line until it’s too late.

Sometimes we do things because we want to, sometimes we do things because we must. For example, you may need to do a task at work that you don’t particularly enjoy, but you do it because it’s part of your job. Or perhaps you listen to a song you enjoy because you enjoy the song. Simple enough, right?

Although I have written about this idea before, I feel like it’s one worth elaborating on. We live in an age of instant gratification, which I think leaves us often feeling underwhelmed. In most cases, this disappointment is due to our expectations being too high. There is, of course, a simple solution to this problem: lower your expectations. On the surface you might think “but why should I lower my standards?”, and I’ll try to make the case for why you should.

I don’t love winter. It’s certainly my least favourite season. While I grew up in a relatively cold place with an unpleasant winter, I wouldn’t say I’m better adapted to it than anyone else. I do, however, have an appreciation for the seasons and I try to (begrudgingly) enjoy winter just as much as summer.

A lot of effort goes into avoiding bad feelings. Bad feelings are generally bad, but rather than focusing on avoiding them, it might make sense to focus on resilience. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from bad feelings, and get through the tough times just as well as the good times.

There’s a subreddit called r/amiugly (as in, “Am I Ugly?”) where people post pictures of themselves and ask the community to rate their appearance. It’s a place where people seek validation, to be told that they are beautiful, or at least not ugly. It’s a place where people seek reassurance, to be told that they are not alone in their insecurities.

When it comes to people who are insanely successful, in the vast majority of cases their success comes from a combination of 2 things: rich parents and luck. When I say “rich parents”, I generally mean relatively rich parents. It doesn’t matter how genius you are if you grow up poor with no opportunities, you won’t get far in life because the world is not a meritocracy.

Take a walk on any given day these days, and instead of staring at your phone, try looking around. If you want to do this on hard mode, leave the phone at home if you can manage. You may notice that many people are engrossed in whatever is going on on their own devices, as opposed to existing in the reality around them.

Yoga is a good example of exercise that is meditative. Or rather, it’s the other way around: yoga is more like meditation that is also good exercise. Or at the very least, when we talk about yoga as exercise, we’re usually referring to the āsanas (i.e., poses) and vinyāsa style yoga (i.e., sequences of poses) that are part of the practice. But yoga is much more than that. It’s a philosophy, a way of life, a spiritual practice. And it’s all of these things at once.

There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Few have mastered the art of walking it, and fewer still have the wisdom to know when to step back. People with enough self awareness to recognize their infallibility are–in my experience–a rare breed. I think a lot of the self-help advice about how we should love ourselves and be confident and yadda yadda tends to be correct on the surface, but in practice it gets deployed incorrectly. Confidence is great, but ignorance combined with too much confidence leads to arrogance.