Being Right Doesn't Matter

One truth we all eventually have to face as we become fully formed adults (“grown-ups”) is that being right doesn’t matter. The only thing that really matters is appearances, being in the right place at the right time, and your connections.

This is an idea that has been floating around in my head for a while, and I’ve been trying to figure out how to describe it. To do so, I can only think in terms of storytelling so that’s what I’ll do.

Being Young and Dumb #

When you’re young, you think you’re smart but in fact you’re actually pretty dumb. It takes a while to get wise enough to realize how dumb you are. Some people are so dumb that they can’t even recognize how incredibly stupid they are. You may look at a tree and think “wow, that tree is super dumb!”, when in fact the tree is living a very happy life and simply operating at a different timescale. I don’t know of many trees that need therapy or medication of some form.

As a young dummy, I took pride in my clever ideas and smart solutions. I believed that technology would prevail, and the best ideas always won. It was not until many years later that I learned that this was not true. It turns out it’s not the best ideas that win, but rather the best marketing.

I spent (or lost) so much time in my life trying to prove how right I was, over and over. In nearly every case, it didn’t matter, because I focused solely on the proof and being right, and never bothered to worry about the part of winning people over. In the end, you are left with nothing but your correct ideas and few friends.

I’d argue, looking back, that it’s more important to keep the friends and have bad ideas.

Beauty Contests #

I think I’ve written about this idea of beauty contests before, as they relate to startups or the stock market (it’s not a new idea, I’ve never had an original idea myself).

The idea pretty much applies throughout life as well. It turns out, everything is a beauty contest (at least within human society). Little else matters but the public perception of your actions, not the actual actions.

To illustrate this, I invite you to look no further than the richest man in the world and one of the Internet’s darlings, Elon Musk. Elon has mastered the art of capturing the minds of those who can’t see past capitalist propaganda. He’s incredibly gifted in his ability to sell anything to anyone. He often makes bold promises, and people quickly forget the substance but remember the man.

These days Elon is little more than a celebrity car salesman and attention seeker, who has consistently failed to deliver on his promises but thanks to his ability to captivate audiences he has managed to overcome the usual market forces. Whether this is a good or bad thing, I don’t know, I just find Elon and his extreme bullshit to be an incredible case study.

So What About It? #

If I could travel back in time to advise my young self, I think I’d say nothing. In spite of this realization, the truth is that whatever steps I took before got me where I am now, and it’s not so bad.

Yes, I wish I could have done things differently. I wish I had bought more Bitcoin in the early days and held on to it. I wish I had stayed the full 4 years at Airbnb, and never met the clowns from Mesosphere/D2IQ. I wish I’d spent less money, saved more, and spent more time with friends.

Alas, humans operate on a timescale that doesn’t let us sit around, take it all in, and process it like the trees do.

The Graveyard of Correct but Failed Ideas #

You can find this pattern everywhere if you want to. Climate scientists have been right for years and it barely matters when money and convenience want something else.

I’ve personally experienced this dynamic countless times in my career. At one company, I argued persistently against a technical approach that I knew was flawed. I had diagrams, data, and logic on my side. I was spectacularly right—and completely ineffective. The project proceeded as planned, failed exactly as I predicted, and cost the company millions.

It still didn’t matter. I wasn’t close enough to the people making the call, and I was talking like the argument should win on its own. It never does.

The Social Layer Trumps Logic #

Most people don’t make decisions from facts first and then sprinkle in the social stuff after. The social stuff is the thing. Facts get filtered through ego, trust, fear, loyalty, timing, all the usual human garbage.

We like to pretend otherwise because it sounds better.

This explains why:

• People maintain beliefs that are demonstrably false but reinforced by their social groups
• Companies pursue strategies that data shows are failing because they align with the CEO’s vision
• Politicians can succeed by being charismatic but wrong rather than correct but wooden

Learning to Play Both Layers #

The people I know who actually get things done understand this instinctively. They know when to push, when to let something go, who needs to hear what, and how much truth the room can tolerate before it shuts down.

I was slow to learn that. I thought if I had the cleanest argument I had done my job. Usually that was me losing and calling it integrity.

The Wisdom of Trees #

Coming back to the tree metaphor—trees don’t argue about who’s right. They don’t try to convince other trees of anything. They simply focus on growing toward the light, staying rooted, and persisting through seasons of abundance and scarcity.

What I like about that is how little of it depends on being acknowledged. The tree isn’t standing there waiting for someone to admit it had the best take.

I still value truth and accuracy. I still believe facts matter. But I’ve learned that facts alone rarely change minds or situations. The human element—the relationships, the emotions, the timing, the framing—often determines whether a correct idea lives or dies.

So yes, if I could tell my younger self anything, it wouldn’t be which stocks to buy or which job offers to take. It would be: “Being right isn’t enough. Learn how people actually work, not just how they should work.”

Maybe that’s the long view. Not winning every argument. Just growing in a way that doesn’t leave you angry, isolated, and technically correct.